Eulogies追思文

I still clearly remember the last time I met Chen Yu. It was exactly 20 years ago, June 24th, 1997, when I went to Beijing from my hometown to apply for a US visa. It was towards the end of the second year in our Master's program in nuclear physics at Peking University, and about half of our undergraduate classmates were either in the US or going to the US over that summer. Later that afternoon, Chen Yu and two other classmates saw me off at a bus station near the Building of the Particle Accelerator. When the bus came, I bid them farewell and promised to "see you in the US".

Finally, after 20 years, I see you, my friend and my classmate Chen Yu, here in the US.

But we cannot smoke together like before, when you showed off your skills of blowing perfect smoke rings, closely resembling the moon in the Weiming Lake. The wind has destroyed the mirrored moon and your smoke rings, long, long ago.

We cannot drink beer, red wine, or spirits together like before. Even drunk as a fiddler, you were still able to sing Flower Sacrifice and Sailing right on pitch. The sound of your songs has penetrated the time barrier separating our present from our past, when we were intoxicated by the dream and the passion.

We cannot run together any more. You were always trying to beat the speed of time, full of energy and youth, achieving everything as easily, smoothly, and promptly as running in Yanyuan every morning or night.

We cannot lift weights together any more. In that gym not far away from the Weiming Lake, how much sweat, laughter, and noise we had shed! You always tried to break your own records, inexhaustibly testing and approaching the limits of your body and spirit. I believe finally you have reached.

But what I regret the most is that we cannot talk together any more. We have discussed not only homework problems in math and physics, but also the deterministic chaos, the existence of supersymmetry, and the theory of unifying everything. We talked about loves, passions, and tears we went through during the brightest part of our lives. Your stories are as moving as those in classical novels we read and spoke about. In my reminiscence you particularly liked a short verse in the novel Gadfly written by Voynich:

We also talked about history and military, debating on the successes and failures of the strategies of the Allies and the Axis in World War II. I was especially fond of our constant conversations about philosophy and religion. Though we had many different opinions on social ideals and social progress, arguing the meaning of the meaningless life, we agreed on the purpose of life is to enjoy so many wonderful things in this world.

We both believed in no specific religions, but your beliefs built through meditations on life and the universe were in agreement with those ancient great ideas, such as "This body itself is emptiness and emptiness itself is this Body… All phenomena bear the mark of emptiness" in Buddhism, and "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind" in Christianity. You told me that the endless joys due to accomplishments, relentlessly overcoming our weakness, and reaching and going beyond our physical and spiritual limits were the only means to fill the emptiness in life, though it was not necessary. You believed that all our lives would be reborn, either in another form or in another universe, far, far away.

After 20 years, I have read and learned so much on physics, literature, history, philosophy, and religion. I have gone through a great deal of success, failure, love, family life, and struggles. But we cannot talk together any more.

How I want to talk with you!

I will always miss you, my friend. You will never become old, full of energy and youth forever, sailing with your dreams, passions, loves, and freedom, in the sky as blue as Lake Mendota.

May you rest in peace, as memory and the legend of you live on and on.

Finally, let me read a beautiful poem for you written by a friend of mine:

The Tragedy

By Xie Chang'An

I was late.

I only saw a piece of dry larva of a longhorn beetle on the Begonia flowers,
Skins of cicadas on pagoda trees, and the clothes of butterflies under garden balsams.
Last night a person was gone and his house became empty.
From a spotted volute was flowing the music of an ancient xun.
Near the lake bank lay a mayfly, whose face was as white as wild rice, with an indistinct expression.
It had no patience to wait, just left.

The surface of the lake was calm.
The fateful coincidences I missed led to the same amount of melancholy in my heart.

Among the sprinkled wine,
Star light was scattered like flying snowflakes.
The space is vast and complicated.
Who sighed in a corner lonely?
And the time made your eyes blind,
Just like the deep night outside the window.
I heard the birds crying,
But could not catch sight of a single feather.

我至今清楚地记得最后一次见到陈昱的情景。那是整整二十年前——1997 年 6 月 24 日，我从家乡赶到北京办赴美签证。当时我们正在北大读核物理硕士第二年，本科同学中已有一半在美国，或将在那年夏天赴美。那天下午，陈昱与另外两位同学到加速器楼附近的公交车站送我。汽车到了，我向他们告别，许下 "在美国见" 的诺言。

二十年后，朋友陈昱，我终于在美国见到你了。

可我们再也不能像从前那样一起抽烟了——你曾经得意地吐出一个个完美的烟圈，宛若未名湖中的月亮。湖风吹散了水中的月与你的烟圈，已是很久很久以前的事。

我们再也不能像从前那样一起喝啤酒、葡萄酒和烈酒了。即使醉得像演奏家，你依旧能字正腔圆地唱起《葬花吟》和《Sailing》。你的歌声穿透时间的屏障，把现在和那时——那个我们沉醉于梦想与激情的青春——连在了一起。

我们再也不能一起跑步了。你总是想跑赢时间，浑身洋溢着青春与活力，把每件事都做得像在燕园的清晨或夜晚跑步那样轻盈、顺畅、迅捷。

我们再也不能一起举铁了。在未名湖畔不远的健身房里，我们流下了多少汗水、笑声与喧闹！你总是想突破自己的纪录，孜孜不倦地试探与逼近自己身体与精神的极限。我相信，你终于到达了。

而我最最遗憾的是，我们再也不能像从前那样畅谈了。我们不仅讨论过数学和物理的习题，也讨论过确定性混沌、超对称是否存在、万物统一理论。我们谈过爱、激情，谈过青春最绚烂年华里那些泪水与心事。你讲的故事，像我们读过、谈过的古典名著一样动人。我记得你最喜欢伏尼契《牛虻》里的那首小诗：

我们还谈历史与军事，争论二战中盟军和轴心国的得失成败。我尤其喜欢与你讨论哲学和宗教。在社会理想和社会进步上，我们看法常有分歧，争论着无意义人生中的意义；但我们都同意，人生的目的是去享受这个世界上无数美好的事物。

我们都没有特定的宗教信仰，但你通过对生命和宇宙的沉思所建立的信念，与古老的大智慧不谋而合——比如佛教的 "色即是空，空即是色……诸法空相"，又如基督教的 "我见日光之下所做的一切事，都是虚空，都是捕风"。你告诉我，靠不停地超越自我的弱点、抵达并越过身体与心灵的极限所获得的无穷喜悦，是填补人生空虚的唯一办法，尽管这其实并不必要。你相信我们的生命都会在另一种形式中、或在遥远的另一个宇宙里重生。

二十年来，我在物理、文学、历史、哲学和宗教上读了许多，学了许多；我经历过成功与失败，经历过爱情、家庭与挣扎。但我们再也无法畅谈了。

我多么想和你说说话啊！

我会永远怀念你，我的朋友。你将永远不会变老，永远年轻，永远充满活力，带着你的梦想、激情、爱与自由，在如门多塔湖一般湛蓝的天空中扬帆。

愿你安息，愿对你的怀念和你的传奇，长长久久地流传下去。

最后，请让我为你读一首朋友写的诗：

悲剧

作者：谢长安

我来迟了。

我只看到海棠花上一只天牛的干蛹，
槐树上的蝉蜕，凤仙花下蝴蝶的衣裳。
昨夜有人离去，房屋成空。
斑驳的螺号里，传出一支古老的埙声。
湖岸边躺着一只蜉蝣，面孔白如菰米，神色不明。
它已无心等候，便径自走了。

湖面平静。
我错过的所有宿命般的相遇，都在心头化作同等的忧伤。

洒落的酒中，
星光散如飞雪。
天地辽阔而复杂。
谁在角落孤独地叹息？
时间让你的眼睛失明，
就像窗外漆黑的深夜。
我听见鸟在啼，
却看不见一根羽毛。

Remembering Yu Chen

I knew Yu Chen back in 2007 when he came to Madison to join the TomoTherapy innovation group. We hit it off very quickly as we were both single and shared a lot of common hobbies. We often went to restaurants to have lunch or dinner together, we went to the gym and worked out together, and we went to UW Shell stadium and skated together. We had a really good time.

Yu was a wonderful singer. He had a beautiful vocal and great sense of rhythm. He had a high-end microphone and professional recording software and he often made recordings of his own version of many popular songs. I saved those mp3s in my cell phone as well as my car stereos and showed it off to every friend of mine. I used to have no confidence in my voice and would never sing in front of others. At his encouragement, I began to sing as well. Even though he was such a better singer, he never looked down upon me. No matter how bad I sang, he could always find something to compliment as well as tips to improve. Because of him, I have a new hobby: singing.

Yu was a very nice person. About 8 years ago, I invited all my friends to have BBQ at my house. One of my friends brought her parents. Soon, young people chatted together and we neglected her parents. Yu noticed this situation. He walked up to them and offered food and beverages. Then he sat down and chatted with them throughout the entire party. The parents had a great time. Although they only saw Yu once, they remember him till this day.

Yu was an avid blood donor. I clearly remember that once while we both worked at TomoTherapy, he fainted while giving blood. It was probably due to the shock from giving too much blood compared to his light body frame. I remember he was surprised by that reaction and told me that he regularly donated blood and never experienced this. He told me he donated blood a lot because it helps people. He had regularly donated blood when he was a student at Beijing. He got certificates which can give his relatives high priority when they need blood transfusion. He was very dismissive about some people's belief that giving away blood is detrimental to health. His belief was that blood-making ability of the human body is like other abilities of human: if you don't use it often, you will lose it. So donating blood is just like we go to the gym to work out. I am sure he had donated blood many times of his body weight and I never doubt that many people had benefited from his generosity.

I am honored to be the person who introduced him to the sports of ski, sailing and windsurfing. All of which he loved greatly, especially windsurfing. We all know that he was an expert in windsurfing. However, when he first started, he struggled mightily. His entire first lesson was constant struggle trying to pull the sail from water. It took him about a month to get the light rating. However, he was a persistent learner. Never gave up! He went there almost every day to take lessons and to practice. He listened to instructors as well as watched windsurfing instruction videos. Next year, we all participated in the windsurfing race that is held every weekend. For rookies like us, to be able to complete the course was a feat. He was in the top-3 in his first race and quickly became the No. 1 in almost all the subsequent races. Now, people saw him windsurfing and may think he was born with it. But I know that those windsurfing skills are not natural gifts; they are obtained through persistence, dedication, and lots of sweat.

It was during that second year when he was advancing his windsurfing skills, he had an accident. After finishing a scow lesson, he misstepped when putting the boat back, fracturing his ribs. Doctor told him he had to rest for 2 months at least. While he couldn't do any sailing or windsurfing, he still came to the windsurfing deck every day. Sitting there watching the lake. His windsurfing buddies would poke fun at him. Once, Aki (or another friend) asked him, "I know you love windsurfing very much, but don't you feel sad sitting here watching us have fun while you are unable to do it? Like a kid sitting in front of a candy box watching everyone else take candy but himself. How can you live with it?" Yu just said with a smile, "I am happy because I see you guys are happy." This is exactly the Yu Chen I know. He cared about you. He was the one that was genuinely happy for other people. When you made a little progress, he might be the one happier for you than yourself. He had the purest heart, the heart of an innocent child.

怀念陈昱

我和陈昱相识于 2007 年，那年他来到麦迪逊加入 TomoTherapy 的创新研发小组。我们都是单身、爱好相投，很快便熟络起来。一起吃午饭、晚饭，一起去健身房锻炼，一起去 UW Shell 体育馆滑冰，那段时间过得真好。

陈昱唱歌特别好。嗓音漂亮，节奏感极强。他有一支高级麦克风和专业录音软件，常常自己翻唱很多流行歌曲。我把那些 mp3 存在手机和车里，向每一个朋友炫耀。我自己原本对嗓子毫无自信，从来不敢在人前唱歌。是他鼓励我开口的。即使他唱得比我好得多，也从不轻看我；不管我唱得多差，他总能找到地方夸奖，又给出改进的小建议。因为他，我多了一个新爱好——唱歌。

陈昱是一个特别善良的人。大约八年前，我请所有朋友来我家烧烤。一位朋友带来了她的父母。年轻人聊得正起劲，反倒冷落了两位老人。陈昱注意到了，主动走过去给他们端饭递饮料，然后坐在他们身边，一整晚都陪着他们聊。两位老人很高兴。虽然他们和他只见过那一次，至今仍念念不忘。

陈昱是个热心的献血者。我清楚地记得有一次我们都还在 TomoTherapy 上班，他在献血时晕了过去——可能是因为他体型偏瘦小，献得太多造成的。他自己也很惊讶，跟我说他经常献血却从没有过这样的反应。他说他献血是因为可以帮到别人。在北京读书时他就常献血，拿到的证明可以让家人在需要输血时享受优先。对有些人 "献血伤身" 的说法，他完全不以为然。他认为，造血能力和人的其他能力一样，越用越强，不用反而会退化——献血就和上健身房锻炼一样。我相信他这辈子献的血加起来已经远远超过自己的体重，从他的慷慨里受益的人，一定也很多。

滑雪、帆船和帆板这几项运动，是我带他入门的——为此我深感荣幸。这三项他都非常喜爱，尤其是帆板。大家都知道他后来在帆板上是高手，但他刚开始时其实很吃力。第一节课他几乎全在水里挣扎，拉不起帆。花了大约一个月才拿到 light 等级。然而他从不放弃，几乎天天去上课、练习，听教练讲解，看教学视频。第二年我们一起参加每周末的帆板比赛——对我们这种新手来说，能跑完赛程就算了不起；他第一次比赛就拿了前三，很快就在几乎所有后续比赛中拿第一。如今别人看他在水上飞驰，以为他天生就会，可我知道那并不是天分，而是他持之以恒、全身心投入、加上无数汗水换来的。

在他帆板技艺突飞猛进的第二年，他出过一次事故。一次平底船课结束后，他抬船下水时一脚没踩稳，肋骨骨折。医生告诉他至少要休养两个月。在那段不能下水的日子里，他依然天天去帆板平台，坐着望湖。同伴们打趣他，有一次 Aki（或另一位朋友）问他："你这么爱帆板，看着我们玩你却动不了，难道不难受吗？就像小孩眼前摆着一盒糖却只能看别人拿，你怎么忍得了？"陈昱只是笑笑说："我看到你们高兴，我就高兴。"这正是我认识的陈昱。他真心关心你，他是那种为别人发自内心高兴的人。你哪怕只取得一点点进步，他可能比你自己还高兴。他有一颗纯净的、像孩子一样的心。

Back in the Spring Blossom

Yu and I became friends on the first day of college. In the past 27 years, although not together every day, we have always looked out for each other. We are both the only children of our families, so I have always thought of him as my brother.

After the accident, many memories came back, and some soon got forgotten again. But there was this tiny, tiny thing that I just could not let go of. That was one day in college, a car suddenly flew by before us as Yu and I were crossing a street. Somehow, I joked with him that if I were to step out accidentally and got run over by that car right in front of him, it must pain him a lot. I remember Yu looked into my eyes with all seriousness and said, "No, you won't, because I will hold you back." Every time I thought of this, it greatly pained me — why didn't I have a chance to hold him back in the afternoon of May 31st.

Lately, I have been talking about Yu a lot with my wife Dandan, and sometimes our 6, 7-year-old boys heard us talking. From time to time, they would run to us and ask, "Is Uncle Yu dead?" This saddened me deeply every time. At their young ages, they have not yet understood what death is. In their minds, Uncle Yu's death just means they cannot see him for a while. They probably think, just like before, Uncle Yu came, and he was gone again. But before long, maybe just next spring when the flowers are blossoming, Uncle Yu would be at our door again, with an armful of toys, a big smile on his face. In fact, that is also my hope.

待到春暖花开时

陈昱和我是大学第一天就结识的朋友。这二十七年来，虽然不能天天在一起，我们一直彼此牵挂。我们俩都是独生子，所以我一直把他当亲兄弟。

意外之后，许多往事浮上心头，有些又渐渐淡去。但有一件极小极小的事，我始终放不下。那是大学时的一天，我和陈昱过马路，一辆车突然从我们眼前飞驰而过。不知怎么，我开玩笑对他说，如果我不小心被那辆车撞死在他面前，他一定会很难过。我记得陈昱认真地看着我说："不会的，我会把你拉回来。"每次想起这句话，我都心痛——5 月 31 日那个下午，我为什么没机会把他拉回来呢？

这段日子，我经常和妻子丹丹谈起陈昱。我们家六七岁的两个小儿子有时也听到我们说话。他们时不时会跑过来问："Uncle Yu 是不是死了？"每次我都心如刀绞。这么小的年纪，他们其实还不懂死是什么。在他们心里，Uncle Yu 不在，只是暂时见不到他而已。也许他们以为，就像往常一样，Uncle Yu 来过，又走了，过不了多久，比如下一个春暖花开的季节，Uncle Yu 又会笑着、抱着满满一怀玩具，出现在家门口。其实，这也是我心底的盼望。

Thank you everyone for attending today's funeral for Yu. My name is Delai Zhou. I was Yu's college classmate and roommate. We shared one set of bunk-beds for 4 years. Yu had a nickname called 'laobang' which can be directly translated into English as "old stick." This name was initially started by me although I do not remember exactly when and why. In Chinese, it has many meanings, and the original intention was just to make fun of him. It was beyond my surprise that Yu accepted such a hilarious nickname gladly, since he knew that this would make everyone around him laugh, as he always did. "Laobang" has a secondary meaning in Chinese — 'extremely great'. Gradually, we forgot the hilarious original meaning of this nickname, and adopted the secondary meaning to represent him, because, with the way he lived his life, he truly lived up to it.

In those four years, every morning when I climbed down my bunk bed with sleepy eyes, the first sight was a very clean quilt stacked like a perfect box on a white bed sheet without any wrinkle. Yu would always be quietly sitting on the bed reading his favorite book of Feynman lectures on physics, or go outside for a long run. That picture was always my first memory of the day. Once I asked him how you could keep everything so organized and clean, his answer was, "If you started to do it since you were a little kid, it would come naturally." Upon college graduation, he told me that he admired my strength of "being persistent." You know, that is exactly what I wanted to tell him — he is one of the most persistent people I know. Needless to say, Yu was one of the best all-around students in our class. He excelled not only in the classroom, but also in sports. Both Yu and I love distance running and we used to chase each other all the time.

I remember there was a race; after he passed me at the finish line, he told me that he was very exhausted and almost passed out. He managed to cross the finish line by visualizing a piece of steak in front of him and trying to grab it with each step closer. That has always been his signature attitude — just do your best. Only a few weeks ago, I made him join the Peking University distance running club. We exchanged ideas of running healthier and also talked about running a marathon sometime together in the near future. It will be my biggest regret in life that I will never have the chance to finish a marathon with him.

Yu was a caring person and loved to share his happiness with friends. One favorite conversation topic in our dorm was Yu telling story of his past or ongoing adventures, including his love stories — and we, a bunch of singles, loved to analyze and contribute ideas. Yu did not play video games in college, but he enjoyed watching others play. Once he even rented the video game for me and just watched and cheered for me the whole night.

During the deadly earthquake in Wenchuan, China in 2008, Yu showed great kindness and love. He was actively calling everyone he knew in that affected area to express concerns and offer help. He sent me a video link about a poor guy that was buried alive for days and witnessed to die once he was pulled out. He said he was so deeply touched by the tragedy that each time he watched he could not help but feel sorry for the people and wish he could be there to help. Yu did not just say it, he actually tried his best to help. After he donated hundreds of dollars, he learned that my wife's company would match 100% for the donated amount. He immediately sent a check to donate more. Some may think he did not have to do this again. His response was, "I do not have much spending nowadays and would be happy to see the money with better use."

When Yu got the job offer and told me that he was coming to Madison, I told him that he would love Madison for sure because there is a very beautiful lake called Mendota and lots of people windsurfing on it. The whole scene is as pretty as a picture. Although I have not seen him surfing myself, I can envision him surfing like a bird and the high-rise sails are his wings. Just like what he said, relax and trust your feeling, the wind will take you fly. There is a famous saying, "Someone dies, but he is still alive." Yu, you will be missed dearly. We know you are flying freely in another world.

感谢大家今天来参加陈昱的葬礼。我是周德来，是陈昱的大学同学、同宿舍室友，我们在同一组上下铺睡了四年。陈昱有个外号叫 "老棒"，字面直译就是 "old stick"。这名字是我最早起的，但具体什么时候、为什么叫，已经记不清了。中文里 "老棒" 有很多含义，最初我也只是想拿他开开玩笑。让我没想到的是，他特别痛快地接受了这个滑稽的外号——他知道这能让身边的人笑出声，他向来如此。"老棒" 在中文里还有 "特别厉害" 的意思，慢慢地，大家都忘了它本来的玩笑义，把这层意思留给了他——因为以他活着的样子，他真的当得起。

那四年里，每天早上我从上铺迷迷糊糊爬下来，第一眼看到的，总是一床方方正正、像豆腐块一样的被子叠在没有一丝褶皱的白床单上。陈昱要么静静地坐在床边看他最爱的《费曼物理学讲义》，要么已经出门长跑去了。这一幕，是我每天的第一段记忆。有一次我问他，怎么能把一切收拾得这么整齐、这么干净。他答："从小就这样做，自然就成了习惯。"大学毕业那年他对我说，他特别佩服我 "能坚持"——殊不知，我才是想对他说这句话的人，他是我认识的最坚持的人之一。陈昱毫无疑问是我们班最全面的学生之一，不仅学业出色，运动也突出。我们俩都喜欢长跑，常常你追我赶。

我记得有一次比赛，他在终点冲过我之后告诉我，他其实已经精疲力尽，差点晕过去。他靠着想象 "前方有一块牛排"，一步一步把它抓在手里，才坚持冲过终点。这就是他一贯的态度——尽最大的力。就在事故前几周，我刚把他拉进北大长跑俱乐部。我们讨论怎样更健康地跑步，并约好以后一起跑一次马拉松。再也没有机会和他一起完成一场马拉松，将是我此生最大的遗憾。

陈昱是个特别有心、乐于和朋友分享喜怒哀乐的人。我们宿舍里最爱听的就是他讲自己过去或正在进行的 "冒险"，包括他的恋爱故事——我们这群单身汉特别喜欢围着帮他出主意。大学时他不打电子游戏，却喜欢看别人玩。有一次他甚至专门租了游戏机给我，自己在旁边给我加油，看了我一整夜。

2008 年汶川大地震时，陈昱的善良和爱心表现得格外清楚。他主动给灾区里他认识的每一个人打电话，问候、提供帮助。他给我转过一段视频，一个被埋了几天的人，被救出来时却没能撑过去。他说他每次看都难过得不行，恨不得自己也能赶过去帮上忙。陈昱不仅嘴上说，更切实在做：他先捐了几百美元，得知我太太公司有 100% 匹配捐款政策后，又寄了一张支票再捐一笔。有人觉得没必要再捐一次，他的回答是："反正我现在花销不多，能让这些钱发挥更大用处，我很乐意。"

陈昱拿到工作 offer 告诉我要去麦迪逊时，我对他说，那地方你一定会喜欢——有个超美的湖叫门多塔，上面常常有好多帆板，整幅画面美得像油画。我虽然没亲眼看到他在湖上的样子，但我可以想象他驰骋的模样，像一只大鸟，高高扬起的帆就是他的翅膀。就像他说过的——放松，相信自己的感觉，风会带你飞起来。有句话说，"有的人死了，他还活着。"陈昱，我们都会深深想你；我们知道，你正在另一个世界自由地飞翔。

What happened? How could this happen? With tears running down, I have been asking the same question over and over when I got notified.

Not possible.

However, it is what it is. Yu is gone… He left us, leaving us with broken hearts.

Once in a while, my son asks me some questions like, "Who is your best friend?", "Who was your best friend in college?" I say it is Yu. Then he keeps asking how come he didn't see me talk to him very often. I said because he is my best friend. It is in your heart. Whenever you need to call or see him, he is there.

However, what happened left me with deep regret. I regret I didn't talk to him that often. I regret I didn't come to see him or invite him to my place very often. Yu is gone, leaving me with regret that I will never be able to make up. Yu is my best buddy. We have been together for 1 year of military training before college, 4 years of college study, and 3 years of graduate school in China before coming to the states. All of those years, we were roommates; even when I went to the Chinese Academy for graduate school, I found an unoccupied bed in Yu's dorm, trying to stay close with my dear friend.

From classmates, roommates to dear friends, we lived, studied, and played together for almost 8 years. Unfortunately, we went to different universities and worked in different states once we came over here. Yu is a phenomenon himself. And with whatever contribution he made, people around him achieve.

Yu is smart and passionate. He is good at studying and research. When we had class in college, he always asked good questions and discussed them with professors. He is not there to learn, but also to master the subject. That is his passion. He is always passionate with what he does, no matter it is study, research, sports, etc.

Yu excels on almost anything he has interest in. This is not only because he is smart, but also his passion and dedication. Whenever he is on something, he is really on and finds ways to do the best job. He never gives up. He tries to find the inside of whatever thing he does. This is what he is when he does anything: workout, skiing, windsurfing, etc. He almost masters the skills on all of the sports he is interested in because of his wisdom and passion.

Yu is always energetic. Even when he walks in the street, I see his elasticity. I can see his energy. When he does his work, he puts himself completely into it. Nothing stops him from finishing the work with excellent quality. All the years I have been with him, I didn't see him complaining, but just hard work with good attitude.

Yu is not only passionate on what he does, but also has the passion to help and stimulate the same passion to the people around him. He is good at instructing and educating.

Yu goes to gym to work out almost every day and he was probably the only one doing work out regularly in my class in college. With his passion and persuading, I joined him to go to gym at the 2nd year of college. He is a very detailed person and gave me all the tips doing workout. Though I am lazy now, but what he has done to me has great help in my life. He never leaves you behind. He is always there to help you. Unfortunately, I live too far from him. But I do believe if I live close to Madison, I would have been windsurfing with him together, because he never leaves his friends behind. He always teaches the people around with enthusiasm.

Yu treats everyone around him well. He helps and never expects or asks payback. That is him. He has the true heart to help no matter how busy he is. He believes helping people is what his life is for. Somehow, I got sick with fever every winter when I was in college. Yu always helped by getting hot water and went to the cafeteria to buy meal and brought it back to my bed. Once I had very high fever, he even went outside to buy some stuff to put on my body to help cool down the fever. He is the one you can count on.

We had a lot of good times. We spent nights talking different things with other roommates when it was bed time. These things could be the stars in the sky, or little things in the universe, or some funny stories. It was a lot of fun. I also remember the routine we exercised together: we went to gym; went to a little grocery store to buy nutrition milk on the way back from gym; had a couple of cigarettes afterwards to relax. A lot of times, we went to the cafeteria in school together. That is what friends do together. Life was really fun with him.

There was one time in college we could not find Yu. Several of us including Yu went to a place in Beijing city by biking. After it was done, we biked back. There was a lot of traffic, but we biked fast, trying to get back to school before dark. We lost Yu on the way and could not see him once we arrived at school. We became anxious after waiting for a while and decided to go out to find him. We did not find him. However, he appeared in the dorm when we got back.

When I heard about the accident, I could not believe it was true. I said No. He will be back, just as before. How much I wish he would appear among us again, with smile.

I think my son will ask me the same question later. "Who is your best friend?" It is Yu. "How come you don't talk to him anymore?" He is in my heart. He sailed away with his passion and energy. He left us good memory. His life is short. However, his excellence remains, with us.

Yu, rest in peace. It has been a wonderful journey with you in my life. Thank you my dear friend for whatever you have done for me, and for us. You will be forever missed.

— Your buddy, Haidong

怎么会这样？怎么可能？得知消息后，我泪流满面，一遍又一遍地问自己同样的问题。

不可能。

可事实就是事实——陈昱走了……他离开了我们，留下我们一颗颗破碎的心。

儿子偶尔会问我："谁是你最好的朋友？""你大学时最好的朋友是谁？"我说是陈昱。他接着问，那你怎么很少看到你和他说话？我说，因为他是我最好的朋友，他在你心里。无论何时你想给他打电话、想见他，他都在。

可这场事故，留给我太多遗憾。我后悔没有更常和他说话，后悔没有更常去看他、邀请他来我家。陈昱走了，留给我永远无法弥补的遗憾。陈昱是我最好的兄弟。大学前一年的军训、四年本科、再加上来美前在国内的三年研究生，我们整整在一起八年。这八年里我们一直是室友——甚至我后来去中科院读研究生，也在陈昱宿舍里找了一张空床住，就想离这个挚友近一些。

从同学、舍友到至交，我们近八年朝夕相处。来美国后，我们去了不同的大学，又在不同的州工作。陈昱本身就是一个奇迹，他无论做什么，都让身边的人因他而变得更好。

陈昱聪明又充满热情，他热爱学习、热爱研究。大学课堂上他总能提出好问题，并就这些问题与教授深入讨论。他不只是来上课，他要把那门学问真正掌握。这是他的激情所在。无论做什么，他都是全情投入——学习、研究、运动，都是如此。

陈昱在自己感兴趣的事情上几乎样样出色。不仅因为他聪明，更因为他的激情和投入。一旦他认定了某件事，就一定要把它做到最好，绝不放弃，总要把它的门道琢磨透。这是他做任何事的状态——健身、滑雪、帆板……他几乎掌握了所有自己感兴趣的运动技能，靠的正是智慧与激情。

陈昱永远充满能量。即使是走在街上，我都能从他身上感受到那种弹性、那种活力。工作时他把自己整个人都投进去，没什么能阻挡他把事情做到优秀。这么多年里，我从没见过他抱怨，他只是带着好心态，认真地把事情做好。

他不仅自己热情澎湃，也乐意带动身边的人一起燃起这份热情。他善于指导、善于教人。

大学时他几乎天天去健身房，可能是我们班里唯一一个坚持锻炼的人。在他的劝说下，我大二跟他一起开始上健身房。他做事极其细致，把所有动作要领都教给我。虽然我现在已经懒了，但他当年的影响仍受用至今。他从不把朋友丢在后面，总在身边帮你。可惜我离他太远；要是我住在麦迪逊附近，我相信我一定会和他一起玩帆板，因为他从来不会撇下朋友自己玩，他总会满怀热情地教身边的人。

他对身边的每个人都好，帮人时从不求回报。这就是他。无论多忙，他总有真心去帮人——他相信，帮人就是他人生的意义。大学时我每年冬天都会发烧，每次都是他给我打热水、去食堂打饭再送回床边。有一次烧得厉害，他还专门跑出去买东西回来给我物理降温。他是那种你完全可以依靠的人。

我们一起度过过无数美好时光。和其他室友在熄灯后聊天能聊到深夜，话题从天上的星到宇宙的小尘埃，再到各种逗乐的故事，乐趣无穷。我也记得我们一起锻炼的日子：去健身房；回来时在小卖部买一盒营养奶；再抽两根烟放松一下。我们也常常一起去食堂吃饭——这就是朋友之间该有的样子。和他在一起，日子真的很有趣。

大学时有一次，我们几个人骑车去北京城里一个地方，事情办完后骑车回校。一路上车流很多，但我们骑得很快，想赶在天黑前回到学校。半路上把陈昱跟丢了，到了学校也不见他。我们等了一阵子开始着急，决定出去找他。结果没找到，但我们一回宿舍，他已经在里面了。

得知事故消息时，我无论如何都不愿相信。我说不，他会回来，像往常一样。我多希望他再次笑着出现在我们中间。

我想以后儿子还会问我同样的话："谁是你最好的朋友？"陈昱。"你怎么不再和他说话了？"他在我心里。他带着他的激情与能量扬帆远去，留下我们美好的回忆。他的生命短暂，但他的优秀，永远与我们同在。

陈昱，安息吧。和你一起走过的这一程，是我生命中最美好的旅程。谢谢你为我、为我们做的一切。我们会永远怀念你。

—— 你的兄弟，海东

In Memory of Yu Chen

I'm honored to be among those to speak this morning about Chen Yu.

I knew him because of windsurfing, but I'm going to begin and end elsewhere. Dandan and Chi know this part better than I:

Last fall Chen Yu's mother fell seriously ill. Fortunately she has since recovered fully. Over dinner last month, Chen Yu told my wife and me about him and his mother. It was an ordinary conversation, but two things moved me deeply.

First, he said he really admired his mother because she had the wherewithal to change her mental and emotional outlook when she realized how critical that would be for her recovery. She did what few of us can do — displace ingrained behavioral patterns, which gets even harder the older we get.

Second, he said they understood one another. But their understanding was richer than simply thinking alike; they even understood each other when they disagreed. They could look within each other and perceive the underlying grounds for disagreement, and in this way appreciate each other all the more. What a rare and wonderful gift between any two people, let alone between mother and son.

About windsurfing…

I met Chen Yu when he joined the Hoofer Sailing Club in 2009. I was one of his teachers that first season. He was different than other beginning windsurfers. He combined mental acuity with unusual persistence. He was on the water every single evening, summer after summer, whether the wind was high or low, favorable or not. He was recognizable from shore by everybody as the guy who was out there no matter what.

Not that he was alone, mind you. Not at all. Every year or so he'd inspire another transient Madisonian or two, who then could be seen on the water regularly with him. Years later he wrote about sitting on his favorite bench, gazing out at the lake, reflecting on those friends: "I could still picture their faces, coming and going." I see that some of them have traveled from afar to be with us today.

And of course he improved.

There's a challenging windsurfing move known as a "jibe." I realized we were no longer in the same league when, on a trip to the Caribbean two years ago, he progressed in one week from missing 99% of his jibes to nailing 99% of them. The student had become the teacher.

His windsurfing form was poetic, his body arched gracefully, with balletic balance; you could sense his zen-like focus. Windsurfers like to "plane," which is when you are skimming and seeming to fly atop the water. Chen Yu was a master. He was able to plane with less wind and smaller sails than any of us. Some put it down to his leanness and low body weight, which they said gave him an unfair advantage. But I know better. Our builds are pretty similar and yet there he was, magically planing when I was not.

He was one of our best, but he never looked down on anybody, always humble. I doubt he understood the word "ego." When I pointed out his superior form he argued that mine was similar to his. He only had praise for you. Once, months after I shared a tiny pedagogical tidbit with instructors, long after it had disappeared into the dustbin of forgotten remarks, he floored me by saying how insightful and useful he had found it.

You need to know too how soft-spoken and respectful he was. Most of us whine about this or that bureaucratic policy or restraint on our freedoms. Not Chen Yu. He never complained. One of our friends remarked, surprising himself, "Golly, that's true, I don't remember him grumbling about anything." Instead he lived in harmony with the world.

He noted nature's beauty and even turned it to good deeds. Here's an email I received from Chi Huynh, a young Hoofer windsurfer we both know:

"Been thinking about him these past few days and by now, he is probably windsurfing the sky. I remember when I was stuck in the lake because the wind was blowing from the south and I saw another figure windsurfing and called out for assistance. It was my first time talking to Yu and he helped me tack back to Hoofers. He saw how nervous and anxious I was and told me to look at the setting sun to divert my attention from my nerves. The sun was beautiful, I still remember the image and hues of pink and orange. I would have missed the beauty if he hadn't told me."

So you have a guy who is focused, smart, athletic, talented, persistent, positive, soft-spoken, humble, kind. Yet what truly set Chen Yu apart was more than all of that.

He was utterly selfless.

He put your interests above his interests, every time.

When the wind is good, windsurfers flock to the lake to go enjoy themselves. Chen Yu too. But people chat, newer windsurfers have rigging questions, they seek advice. We're all glad to answer and help, but we do it efficiently so we can get ourselves out on the water as quickly as possible. Not Chen Yu. He spent so much time helping others that his own windsurfing was vastly curtailed. Sometimes he only finally got on the water when the good wind had died down. Knowing him though, he didn't regret what might have been. He exulted in whatever time he had.

In winter, he would arrange discounted ski lift tickets for large groups of people. He had to distribute them personally so he'd wait for stragglers to show up, no matter how late they arrived, which meant he was stuck in the lodge while nearly everybody else was on the slopes.

I'll tell you one final story. In February we spent an evening snowboarding together. He was, as you might expect, quite accomplished, whereas I'm a perpetual beginner. I told him he should go on and enjoy himself and not let me hold him back. But instead we stayed together the entire evening. We talked about many things — snowboarding, life, the past, the future. On the downhill runs he made suggestions that — you can guess by now — helped me improve.

At one point he suspected that my feet were too close together; he suggested it might be worthwhile to remount my bindings so they were farther apart. He explained why, and it made sense, and I told him "Ok, I'll do it at home before the next time I go snowboarding." He said, "Why don't we just do it now. I think we can find some tools inside." So we went in and did it together, me feeling even guiltier that I was depriving him of yet more of his snowboarding time. Indeed, the change made a wonderful difference.

What I eventually understood, looking back on that evening, is that he got his joy from being supportive and just sharing our time together. He honestly didn't mind being dragged to a pace so much slower than his natural one. I realized that my well-being sustained his well-being. I needn't have felt guilty. He found happiness in others.

I said it before. He put your interests above his own. He genuinely wanted you to succeed.

He was the best kind of human being you'd ever want to meet. What a loss for those who knew him, and for those who never will. Chen Yu, you deserve to be windsurfing the sky.

Chamond Liu · 劉旭明 · 24 June 2017

追忆陈昱

能在今天上午来追忆陈昱，是我的荣幸。

我认识他是因为帆板，但我想从别的地方说起，也从别的地方结束。下面这段，丹丹和张弛比我更清楚：

去年秋天，陈昱的母亲病重，所幸如今已完全康复。上个月的一次晚餐，陈昱给我太太和我谈起他和母亲的事。那只是一次寻常的聊天，但有两件事让我深为感动。

第一，他说他真的非常佩服母亲——当她意识到改变心境对康复至关重要时，她真的去改变了。她做到了我们多数人做不到的事——去突破自己根深蒂固的行为模式；而年纪越大，这件事就越难。

第二，他说他和母亲彼此理解。但他们的理解不仅是想得一样，更难能可贵的是——即使彼此意见不同，他们仍然能相互理解。他们能看进对方内心，明白分歧背后的原因，并因此对彼此愈加敬重。这是任何两个人之间都极其难得而美好的礼物，何况是母子之间。

关于帆板……

2009 年陈昱加入 Hoofer 帆船俱乐部时我认识了他，那个夏天我是他的教练之一。他和其他初学者不一样——头脑灵活，毅力惊人。每年夏天每个傍晚，无论风大风小、顺风逆风，他都在水上。岸上的人远远就认得出来：那就是 "无论如何都在水上的那个人"。

但他从不孤单。每隔一两年，他都会带动一两个来麦迪逊短期工作或学习的人开始玩帆板。多年后他在一封信里说，自己常坐在最爱的那张长椅上望着湖水，回想这些朋友："我仍然记得他们的脸，来过又走了。"今天，我看到他们当中的一些人，专程远道而来。

当然，他的技术也越来越好。

帆板里有一个高难度动作叫 "jibe（俯风转向）"。两年前我们去加勒比海玩，他一个星期里从 99% 失败变成了 99% 成功——我知道，我们已经不在一个级别上了。学生变成了老师。

他的帆板姿态像诗：身体优雅地弓起，平衡如芭蕾，神情专注得有禅意。帆板手最爱 "plane"——身体在水面上飘起、几乎要飞起来的感觉。陈昱是这其中的大师。同样的小风、同样小的帆，别人撑不起 plane，他可以。有人说这是因为他身体轻、瘦——给了他不公平的优势。但我知道不是。我们体格相近，可他能 plane 时我不能。

他是我们当中最好的之一，却从不轻视任何人，始终谦逊。我都怀疑他根本不懂 "自我" 这个词。我夸他姿势好，他反过来说我的也差不多。他只懂得赞美你。有一次我对教练们讲了一个极小的教学小窍门，几个月后早被我自己忘了，他却特意告诉我，那句话他觉得多么有用、多么有启发——把我惊到了。

你还得知道他有多么温和、多么尊重人。我们多数人都会抱怨这条规章、那条限制；陈昱不会。他从不抱怨。有位朋友自己也感到意外："对啊，我真的从没听他抱怨过任何事。"他与世界相安，相处和谐。

他善于发现自然之美，也能把这份美转化为善行。下面是我收到的一封邮件，写信的是我们都认识的年轻 Hoofer 帆板手 Chi Huynh：

"这几天我一直在想他，此刻他大概正在天上玩帆板吧。我记得有一次刮南风，我被困在湖中央，看到不远处也有人在玩帆板，于是大声求救。那是我第一次跟陈昱说话，他帮我把船一段一段地带回 Hoofers。他看到我紧张焦虑，就让我看西边的落日，把注意力从害怕里拉出来。那个夕阳真美，粉色和橙色交融的样子，我至今记得清清楚楚。要不是他提醒，我可能就错过了那份美。"

你看，他专注、聪明、运动好、有才华、坚持、积极、温和、谦逊、善良。但真正让陈昱与众不同的，远不止这些。

他是真正无私的人。

无论何时，他都把你的利益放在自己的利益之前。

风一好，帆板手们便一齐涌向湖边各自享受。陈昱也是。但有人闲聊、有新人请教装帆、有人寻求建议——我们都会乐意帮忙，但都很想赶紧搞定，自己好下水。陈昱不是。他把那么多时间花在帮别人上，自己玩的时间反而被一再压缩——有时候等他下水，好风已经歇了。可是了解他的人都知道，他不会因此遗憾。无论拥有多少时间，他都尽情地享受。

冬天里，他常常给大群朋友团购打折的滑雪票。他得亲自挨个发给大家，所以总要在大堂等迟到的人——不管多晚都等。结果就是几乎所有人都已经在雪道上了，他还被困在度假村大堂里。

我最后讲一件事。今年二月，我和他一起去玩单板滑雪。他自然是相当老练，而我永远是个初学者。我让他自己去玩，别为我浪费时间。可他陪了我整整一晚。我们聊了很多——单板、生活、过去、未来。下坡的时候，他时不时给我建议，你也猜得到——让我有所长进。

他有一次怀疑我两脚距离太近，建议我重新装一下绑带，让两脚分得开一些。他讲了原因，我听了觉得有道理，便说："好，下次玩之前我在家弄一弄。"他说："为什么不现在弄呢？里面应该能找到工具。"于是我们一起回到屋里把它装好了——我心里更内疚，又占去了他那么多本该自己滑的时间。果然，调整后效果好多了。

后来我才明白，那一晚他真正的快乐，来自于在旁支持我、与我共度时间。他真的不介意被我拖累、节奏被我放慢。他的安心，是因为我的安心。我不用感到内疚——他的快乐来自他人。

我说过：他把别人的利益放在自己之前。他真心希望你过得好。

他是世间最好的那种人。他离去，是认识他的人的损失，也是再也无缘认识他的人的损失。陈昱，你值得在天上扬帆。

劉旭明 · Chamond Liu · 2017 年 6 月 24 日

In Loving Memory of Yu Chen

June 1, 2017 is the day I will never forget for the rest of my life. When I was with my wife and kids right in front of Cinderella castle waiting for the happily ever after fireworks show, our friend Xiaohu called and passed me the news. I was speechless and beyond belief. When you heard the saddest news at one of the happiest places on earth, you just feel everything is unreal. Moments, images and memories just flashed in my mind again and again.

We were having lunch together just a few days ago and we were talking about our plan in summer. How come you just left us without a chance for me to say goodbye? I have long understood life is unfair but this? This is so unimaginable that I have been questioning repeatedly, why, why such a kindest, nicest and talented person was taken away, at such a prime time of his life.

I still remember we were studying and working together in Ann Arbor and taking those night shifts at Notre Dame. I still remember those countless singing parties and fond memories of eating hot pot at your place. I still remember flying with you on ice rink and bathing with you in Lake Michigan. These days are just like yesterday.

You are the person I know if something happens to me, you will be right there for me. When we moved from Ann Arbor to Madison, there was not even a single bit of hesitation when I asked you to be both of my children's emergency contact and you were so serious of taking it. You are just such a person everybody can rely on. Your caring and passion are just so nonpareil and we all deeply, deeply miss you.

I know at that moment, this whole world changed because it just lost one of the kindest, most lovable and the greatest souls. May him rest in peace.

深切怀念陈昱

2017 年 6 月 1 日，是我此生永远不会忘记的一天。当时我正和太太、孩子在仙德蕾拉城堡前，等着 "Happily Ever After" 烟火秀，朋友小虎打来电话，把消息告诉了我。我说不出话来，无法相信。当你在地球上最快乐的地方听到最悲伤的消息时，所有一切都像不真实。那些瞬间、画面与记忆，一遍又一遍地在脑海里闪现。

就在几天前，我们一起吃午饭，还在聊夏天的计划。你怎么就这样走了，连让我说声再见的机会都没有？我早就明白人生不公，但这样的事？这怎么想得通——为什么这样善良、这样温柔、这样有才华的人，会在生命最好的年纪被带走？

我仍清楚记得我们在安娜堡一起读书、一起工作，记得我们在 Notre Dame 一起上夜班；仍清楚记得那些数不清的歌会，记得在你家围着锅吃火锅的快乐；仍清楚记得我们在冰场上 "飞翔"，记得我们在密歇根湖里一起泡水。那些日子仿佛就是昨天。

你是那种我知道——一旦我出事，你一定会立刻赶到我身边的人。我们从安娜堡搬到麦迪逊时，请你担任我两个孩子的紧急联系人，你毫不犹豫地答应，并把这份责任看得很重。你就是这样让所有人都能依靠的人。你的关怀和热情独一无二，我们都深深、深深地想念你。

那一刻，我知道这个世界已经不一样了——它刚刚失去了一个最善良、最可爱、最伟大的灵魂。愿你安息。

Everywhere Yu Chen went, a group of friends naturally formed around him. This was true in his hometown, Zhengzhou. This was true at Peking University, Beijing. This was also true in Ann Arbor, Michigan. This was true again here, in Madison. Ever since I got to know him in 1999 in Ann Arbor, I was impressed by his enthusiasm for others, dedication to his devotions, and his unique personality. Because of this, although having left Ann Arbor for many years, many friends were still keeping in touch with him, were deeply grieved by this tragedy and want to offer their condolences.

Dingzhou Li is one of Yu's best friends from Michigan and currently living in east coast. Dingzhou gives special appreciation for Yu's three-fold friendship and help as brother, colleague and best-friend. Sha Yang, Dingzhou's wife, is very much missing Yu for Yu's help and recalls the years of laugh together and tears together. Here, the couple of Dingzhou Li want to offer their deepest condolences.

Jimin Zhao is one of Yu's best friends from Michigan and currently living in Beijing. Yu and Jimin came to Department of Physics, University of Michigan together in the same year. They had the same age and became good friends quickly. They were attending classes together, doing exercises together, playing games together, grocery shopping together, traveling together, and swimming together. After Jimin moved to Beijing, Yu visited Jimin in Beijing. They kept in touch closely and communicated frequently on WeChat: enjoying happy time and sharing emotions together. As Jimin appraises Yu: Yu's heart was always devoted to advancing science, pursuing a happy and justified society, cherishing friendship, and deeply loving his mother. Here, Jimin Zhao offers his deepest condolences.

Shouyuan Chen is another of Yu's best friends as well as roommate at Michigan, and currently living in Lincoln, Nebraska. Shouyuan always recalls Yu's enthusiastic and selfless help. When Shouyuan firstly arrived in the United States, it was Yu and Gang Chen driving to the airport to pick him up, and then Yu helped him to handle a variety of paperwork and settle down smoothly in Ann Arbor. Shouyuan remembers that many friends frequently came to Yu's place to party during weekends. Shouyuan especially misses Yu's enthusiasm and their joys together. When Yu came to Lincoln last month, Yu and Shouyuan met and chatted, but Shouyuan would never have thought that meeting became a farewell. Here, Shouyuan Chen offers his deepest condolences.

Yu, my wife Li, and I came from the same Henan Province in China, and felt particularly close to each other. While living in the same Family Housing Community at Ann Arbor, we often went to Yu's place to party, chat and eat together. Away from Ann Arbor, we kept in touch with each other. When I heard the tragedy in the morning of June 1 from Gang, I was shocked so that I didn't believe it's real. Only when attending the Candle Light Vigil seven days later, I began to realize it is real that he is sailing away forever.

May our special memories help Yu's mother, relatives and friends cope with the grief. Yu's legend will always be with us.

— Jun Cheng @ Chicago

陈昱无论走到哪里，身边总会自然而然地聚起一群朋友。他的家乡郑州是这样，北大是这样，密歇根的安娜堡是这样，到了麦迪逊还是这样。自 1999 年我在安娜堡认识他起，我就被他对别人发自内心的热情、对所投入之事的执着、以及独特的人格所打动。也正因如此，他离开安娜堡多年后，仍有许多老朋友与他保持联系。这次意外让他们深感悲痛，他们也希望借此表达哀思。

李丁洲是陈昱在密歇根最好的朋友之一，如今住在东海岸。他特别感念陈昱兄弟般、同事般、挚友般三重的友谊与帮助。他的妻子杨莎也十分怀念陈昱当年的帮助，回忆起多年相聚时的欢笑与泪水。在此，李丁洲夫妇致上最深切的哀悼。

赵继民也是陈昱在密歇根的至交，现居北京。他和陈昱同年进入密歇根大学物理系，年龄相仿、很快成为好友。他们一起上课、一起锻炼、一起打球、一起买菜、一起旅行、一起游泳。赵继民回国后，陈昱专程去北京看他。他们一直保持密切联系，常在微信上分享喜怒哀乐。赵继民这样评价陈昱：他的心一直献给科学的进步、追求一个幸福而正义的社会、珍重友谊、深爱母亲。在此，赵继民致上最深切的哀悼。

陈守元也是陈昱在密歇根的挚友兼室友，如今在内布拉斯加的林肯市。他常常念起陈昱热情而无私的帮助。当年他刚到美国时，是陈昱和陈刚开车去机场接的他；陈昱帮他处理各种繁琐手续，让他在安娜堡顺利安顿下来。守元记得，那时常有许多朋友周末到陈昱家聚会。他最怀念陈昱的热情，以及一起共度的快乐时光。上个月陈昱去林肯，他们还见过面、聊过天；他没想到那一面，竟然是永别。在此，陈守元致上最深切的哀悼。

陈昱、我太太李、我自己都是河南老乡，彼此特别亲近。当年我们都住在安娜堡的家庭住宅区，常去他家聚会、聊天、吃饭。离开安娜堡后我们也一直保持联系。6 月 1 日早上从陈刚那里得知这个噩耗时，我震惊得不愿相信。直到七天后参加烛光追思会，才慢慢意识到——他真的扬帆远去了。

愿我们这些特别的回忆，能慰藉陈昱的母亲、亲人和朋友。陈昱的传奇，将永远与我们同在。

—— 陈军 于芝加哥

Good morning. For anyone who doesn't know me, my name is Mingming Leng. Today, together with Rong Chen, we are here, representing all of our classmates from Class 908 at Zhengzhou No.1 High School, to remember, honor, and celebrate our friend Yu Chen's beautiful and uncompromised life.

To all of us who shared the same classroom with him for three years, Yu was smart, diligent, and most importantly, true to himself as well as to his friends. Born in a military family, Yu had extraordinary willpower, even deliberately built personality in a self-made harsh environment. For instance, he didn't use a pillow in his sleep; instead, he only used the pillow cover under his head. Maybe that explained why he was never late for the morning exercise. He always had a short hair cut, wore a soldier green jacket and police blue pants all year long — a tough image only to be betrayed by his sunny smile. He often practiced pull-ups and swinging on high bar and parallel bars, making him a known character at school, full of strength and energy.

In high school, Yu got top scores in every subject. He also encouraged his fellow students to dream big and never refused to offer a helping hand. One classmate wanted to borrow Yu's notes from a physics class right before the college entrance exam. To her surprise, Yu hand-copied the notes and graphs very neatly for her, which probably took him quite some time and effort. You could imagine how grateful the classmate has been.

When I recall my high school time, one moment that stood out was the last field trip in high school. Yu was the busiest guy in planning and coordination, to make sure that everyone would have a precious piece of memory to accompany in a lifetime. One friend remembers that Yu walked through woods to locate a waterfall in a remote area, using a magnetized needle. It was his resolution and dedication that finally found the waterfall for all his friends.

Most of our high school classmates didn't have frequent contact with Yu, especially after he went to the US for his Ph.D. study. From the reports and links, we knew that his research work has been benefiting cancer patients, and it is heartbreaking that he wouldn't be able to contribute any more. Yu also found happiness in sailing and made friends as a volunteer coach, which showed again the exact person we knew and loved so much and for so long.

Yu's life abruptly stopped at 43 years. It was short but spectacular like a summer flower. We will treasure his integrity, devotion and never-quitting spirit. Class 908 will remember the youngest member, Yu Chen, forever.

各位早上好。也许大家不认识我——我叫冷明明。今天，我和陈蓉一起，代表所有郑州一中 908 班的同学，来到这里，纪念、致敬、并礼赞我们的朋友陈昱那美丽而毫不妥协的人生。

对于和他同窗三年的我们来说，陈昱聪明、勤奋，最重要的是——他对自己真诚，对朋友真诚。出身军人家庭的他，意志力惊人，甚至会刻意为自己制造严苛的环境来磨练自己。比如他睡觉不用枕头，只把枕巾垫在头下——这也许就是他从来不晚早操的原因。他常年理短发，穿绿色军装上衣和警蓝裤子，看起来硬朗，但他灿烂的笑容又泄露了那份硬朗下的温暖。他常练引体向上、单杠、双杠，强壮而充满活力，是学校里的一位 "名人"。

高中时，他每门功课都名列前茅。他鼓励同学敢于做大梦想，也从不拒绝伸出援手。高考前夕，一位同学想借他的物理课笔记，没想到陈昱亲自把笔记和图表一笔一画地誊抄给她——可以想见那要花他多少时间和心力。这位同学一直非常感激他。

我高中时期最难忘的一幕，是高三那次最后的春游。陈昱是策划组织最忙碌的那个人，只为让每个同学都能带走一段珍贵的回忆。一位朋友记得，陈昱用一根磁化的针，在偏僻林子里走了好久，硬是给大家找到一条瀑布。正是他这份决心和执着，让所有朋友能够一同见到那条瀑布。

大多数高中同学和陈昱后来联系不多，尤其是他赴美读博之后。我们从一些报道和链接里得知，他的研究在惠及癌症患者；而他再也不能继续为之奋斗，让我们心痛。我们也看到他在帆船帆板里找到快乐，并成为志愿教练交了许多朋友——这与我们认识、爱了那么多年的他完全一致。

他的生命在四十三岁戛然而止。短暂，却像盛夏的花朵一样绚烂。我们会珍藏他的正直、奉献与永不退却的精神。908 班将永远记得这位最年轻的成员——陈昱。

Forever LaoBang

It was Wednesday, May 31, 2017. The day before was Chinese "Dragon Boat" Day. Two days before was American Memorial Day. The next day was International Children's Day.

Around 4 AM on June 1st, my wife woke me up and uttered: "LaoBang is gone!" I couldn't react…

Just a few minutes ago, two police officers of Coppell (TX) knocked on our door, asking for Yu Chen's family contact…

Around noon, I trembled to post the news on our college class forum. The screen was soon full of WTF!

In the fall of 1990, together with 700 newly admitted science-major students of Peking University, Yu and I went to an Army Academy in central China for a whole year of mandatory military training. Yu Chen, nicknamed LaoBang, has been the comrade and classmate of mine ever since then. For 7 years straight, we studied in the same classroom, slept in the same unit of dorm, ate in the same cafeteria, exercised in the same basketball court, hung out along the same lakeshore, drank the same bottle of beer, smoked the same pack of cigarettes….

We were among the first group of people in China who used the internet to peek at the world outside of China. We were among the pioneers who promoted dormitory "market economy" during our last year of school life in China.

In 2003, I went to the AAPM conference in San Diego. While I was reading a poster in the conference, suddenly I heard a familiar voice from my back. It was surprisingly LaoBang. He told me that he had transferred to medical physics and became a peer of mine. We had fun in Sea World for a whole day. LaoBang picked a big Orca toy for my elder son. It was my son's favorite for many years.

By 2006, my wife and I had been in TomoTherapy for many years, and tomo was thriving.

We met LaoBang in AAPM again. We tried to persuade LaoBang to come to Madison. "There is a beautiful 'Dreaming of Her' lake (Lake Mendota), there is the world renowned water park capital Wisconsin Dells, there are gentle and nice people…." Then he came for the interview. Everything went well except for the H1B visa, which was quite a hassle. It was not until October 2007 that LaoBang moved to Madison and joined the "physics and innovation" group that included me and my wife. Though this group had only 5-6 members at all time, it was the brain for tomotherapy. We worked together for several years and completed quite a few products. The last few important innovations in tomo came out of this group. Especially the latest generation of products, TomoEdge, was predominantly developed by Yu.

The machine is now used by hundreds of hospitals around the world, treating tens of thousands of cancer patients daily and providing hopes for tens of thousands of families.

I left tomo and joined 21C in 2011. In the next two years, my wife and LaoBang also joined 21C. We continued as a group engaging in radiotherapy quality control software research and development. This product has been used in more than 100 radiotherapy clinics to ensure efficient and safe treatment.

In the fall of 2014, my wife and I went to UTSW and our family left our 17 years of hometown — Madison. LaoBang stayed in 21C. He just cannot leave his dear Lake Mendota.

LaoBang enjoyed and excelled in all kinds of outdoor sports, skiing, snowboarding, skating, sailing, windsurfing, … In the summer of 2009, when my wife and kids were in China for summer vacation, LaoBang persuaded me to learn sailing and windsurfing. We galloped on Lake Mendota after work every day. Though, throughout the whole summer, I could not get any senior rating for windsurfing, we had great fun on the lake. After windsurfing, we bought a couple pitchers of draft beer and drank at the lakefront together with sunset and breeze. Life is no better than that!

LaoBang and I have very different personalities and hobbies. However, after so many years of "Hugs-for-Warmth," we had been closer than brothers.

On Sunday, May 28, 2017, LaoBang and I had a phone conversation. He told me that his mom recovered very well. We encouraged each other to take our last chance of the ABR test this August. We talked about registering the test as early as possible and picking the same test center that is closest to my home. June 7th was the first day of registration, and there were still openings in the test center that is closest to my home.

Seven years of classmates, seven years of coworkers, twenty-seven years of brothers, a lifetime of remembrance.

Farewell, my comrade;

Farewell, my classmate;

Farewell, my colleague;

Farewell, my coworker;

Farewell, my friend;

Farewell, my brother.

永远的老棒

2017 年 5 月 31 日，星期三。前一天是中国的端午节；两天前是美国阵亡将士纪念日；后一天是国际儿童节。

6 月 1 日凌晨 4 点左右，太太把我摇醒，喃喃地说："老棒不在了！"我反应不过来……

就在几分钟前，德克萨斯州 Coppell 的两位警官敲了我们家的门，向我们询问陈昱家属的联系方式……

到了中午，我颤抖着把消息发到我们大学班级的论坛上，屏幕很快被一连串 "怎么可能" 刷满。

1990 年秋，我和陈昱与北大近 700 名理科新生一起，被送到中原一所陆军学院，进行整整一年的军训。从那时起，外号 "老棒" 的陈昱，就是我的战友兼同学。整整七年，我们在同一个教室上课，睡在同一个宿舍单元，吃在同一个食堂，在同一个球场运动，在同一个湖畔散步，一起喝同一瓶啤酒，抽同一包烟……

我们是中国最早一批使用互联网窥探外面世界的人。在国内学习的最后一年，我们更是宿舍 "市场经济" 的先行者。

2003 年我去圣地亚哥参加 AAPM 年会。开会时我正在看一张海报，背后传来熟悉的声音——竟然是老棒。他告诉我，他已经转行医学物理，跟我成了同行。那天我们在 Sea World 玩了一整天。老棒给我儿子挑了一只很大的虎鲸玩偶，是他多年来最爱的玩具。

到 2006 年，我和太太已经在 TomoTherapy 工作多年，公司正蓬勃发展。

那一年的 AAPM，我们又见到了老棒。我们劝他来麦迪逊："这里有个特别美的湖叫 Mendota（'梦多她'），有世界水上乐园之都 Wisconsin Dells，有温柔善良的人们……"于是他来面试，一切都顺利，唯独 H1B 签证折腾了好一阵。直到 2007 年 10 月，老棒才正式来到麦迪逊，加入了我和太太所在的 "物理与创新" 小组。这个小组始终只有 5—6 人，却是 TomoTherapy 的大脑。我们一起工作了好几年，做出过不少产品。TomoTherapy 后期那几项最重要的创新都出自这个小组，特别是最新一代产品 TomoEdge，主要就是陈昱开发的。

如今，这台机器被全世界数百家医院使用，每天为数万名癌症患者治疗，给数万个家庭带去希望。

2011 年我离开 TomoTherapy 加入 21C，接下来两年里，我太太和老棒也陆续加入。我们继续作为一个小组，从事放疗质控软件的研究与开发。这套软件如今在 100 多家放疗诊所运行，保障着治疗的高效与安全。

2014 年秋，我和太太去了 UTSW，全家离开了我们生活了十七年的家乡——麦迪逊。老棒留在 21C，他离不开他心爱的门多塔湖。

老棒爱好并精通各种户外运动：滑雪、单板、滑冰、帆船、帆板……2009 年夏，我太太和孩子回国过暑假，老棒劝我学帆船和帆板。我们下班后天天在门多塔湖上奔驰。那个夏天我虽然没拿下任何帆板高级评级，但在湖上的时光实在快乐。下水之后，我们再到湖边小店买两扎生啤，坐在落日的微风里痛饮——人生还有什么比这更惬意？

老棒和我性格、爱好都很不一样。可这么多年 "抱团取暖" 之后，我们早已亲如兄弟。

2017 年 5 月 28 日（星期日），我和老棒通了电话。他告诉我，他母亲恢复得很好。我们互相鼓励，下决心今年 8 月一起把 ABR 考试的最后一次机会拿下。我们商量好尽早报名，挑离我家最近的同一个考场。6 月 7 日就是报名第一天，我家附近那个考场当时还有名额。

七年同学，七年同事，二十七年兄弟，一生的怀念。

再见了，我的战友；

再见了，我的同窗；

再见了，我的同事；

再见了，我的工作伙伴；

再见了，我的朋友；

再见了，我的兄弟。